By Toni Smothers

Back in the 1980’s, Bounpheng Panmuang (we call him Boone) lived in constant fear. Although Laos was his homeland, he felt alienated from a country that accepted war as an inevitable occurrence. As he approached his sixteenth birthday, the age which would demand his part in the endless chain of destruction surrounding him, he would soon be forced to fight in a senseless war; only Boone didn’t want to kill anyone. If he refused, however, he could be killed or jailed for the rest of his life.

Boone knew that to try to make the walk from the hills of Laos to Thailand would be certain death. Urged by his family to escape, he summoned his courage and planned to slip into the Mekong River and swim to safety. Leaving the people he loved most in the world, he was sustained by the desperate need they all shared for his freedom.

Several Laotian people set out that night to risk everything on a new life. Boone was the lucky one; the feared guerrilla gunfire did come, spraying bullets through the water as they swam. Finally out of the rifle’s range, Boone found himself miraculously alive, drifting toward sanctuary in Thailand. The tragic fact that he was alone in his victory weighed heavy on Boone’s heart. His other countrymen had disappeared, floating lifelessly down the blood stained Mekong River.

After his escape, Boone met a young Laotian named Sythien in a Thailand refugee camp. Sythien told officials that Boone was his brother so that Boone was included when Sythien’s family was accepted for resettlement in America under the auspices of our church through Immigration & Refugee Services. The refugee committee at my church became the family’s local sponsor at this time, greeting them at the Orlando Airport and taking responsibility for obtaining employment and housing for them.

Boone, along with three of the other Laotian children, stayed in my home while waiting for more permanent housing. Sythien, his wife and baby stayed with another committee member. There were some difficulties originally: head lice; skin ulcers, malnourished appetites; the language barrier; hesitant, formal feelings – all contributed to less than spontaneous relationships. My family and I prayed for God’s help and we fully expected Him to show us what to do and help us know how to cope with each issue as it presented itself. It’s amazing how resourceful people of God can be in a pinch. We communicated by using body language and pantomime and with the love of the Lord, which filled in all the other gaps, we understood enough. It was a cultural experience for us all. Continual reliance on the power of God, the bond of compassion and friendship He blessed us with, inevitably carried us through.

After 10 days, we located an adequate three-bedroom rental house and furnished it with donations from the church. Our Laotian friends were obviously proud of their new home and considered it very luxurious. Boone spent much of his time at my house, however, playing with my children, eating meals with us, cutting our grass or doing any chore he saw that he could do. It was soon apparent that Boone responded to my family and our home in a very unique way. We spent hours teaching him things and even enrolled him in a night school English class at the local high school. It was about this time that the facts about Boone’s true identity surfaced. When the Immigration & Refugee Services heard about it, they relocated Boone in a down town flophouse that was already overcrowded with many unmotivated refugees, collecting welfare and contributing little to their own improvement.

Things went downhill from there – Boone did manage to find himself a boring minimum wage job, but he lived too far away to continue attending school and his English slipped noticeably. At 17, Boone needed a better chance to make it in this country. My family felt God’s leading and so we interceded at this point. Boone moved in with us.

His situation didn’t improve immediately. Boone’s job was seasonal, so he was laid off. Receiving welfare was not an option for Boone. He said it would make him terribly ashamed. He tried constantly to find work, peddling his bicycle from place to place, approaching prospective employers with his faulty English. Eventually, we managed to find him a permanent position with the Marriott Hotel. No longer a jobless pauper, Boone had a really fine job with a good income, insurance and a paid annual vacation. His dream of having his own car became a definite possibility. Back in evening English classes, he studied endlessly to pass the written driver’s test.

Boone, unaccustomed to cold weather, would freeze waiting for buses in order to get to work by 8:00 a.m. when the temperature was in the 30’s or 40’s some mornings. He had to transfer to a second bus. He got lost many times, but he stuck it out and never missed a single day of work. He’d always smile, never showing the slightest irritation, always conscientious and amiable. He was such a precious child of God.

Boone taught us all a great deal about perseverance and the human need for freedom and growth. We helped him as much as seemed reasonable, but his life was an inevitable chain of mishaps and frustrating experiences. There were people who took unscrupulous advantage of his generous nature, repeatedly begging rent or food money from him; money they never intended to repay, having no jobs or prospects. But Boone felt that he had been given so much that he could hardly do less for others, so he continued to give without reservation. His only transportation, his bicycle, was stolen. Boone learned many lessons the hard way, yet he always remained the same optimistic young man we all loved.

Each time Boone took the written driver’s test, he’d show me his failure slip from the traffic bureau. He’d just smile, fold the paper up and tuck it into his pocket to save with all the others. “That’s OK,” he’d say. “I’ll try again next time.” Each time, you could see God’s special peace that truly does pass all understanding, firmly emanate from within him – Boone was authentic and truly blessed.

He finally passed the written test on his seventh attempt. That night, he came home with success written all over his face, carrying two steaming pizzas for the family, to celebrate. “Tonight is party. Today, I pass test. Really!” He beamed as he showed us his greatly prized driver’s permit.

Many years have passed since Boone first stole our hearts. My family feels great admiration for the man Boone has become. Each step has brought him closer to the independence he has worked so steadfastly to achieve. He struggles on, but with an unshakable confidence in himself and the love that brought him to this place in his life. He has been blessed by God to preserve his need to love and cherish life against all odds. He continues to see new dreams in his life come true. We have been deeply blessed and enriched for having been used by God to share in Boone’s journey toward fulfillment.

Boone no longer lives with us. He has his own place now. He visits often because he knows that we are his family. He doesn’t peddle over on his bicycle, however. He’s now driving the love of his life – his 1990 Camaro. I guess he did deviate somewhat from our typical American tradition. Being a poor refugee with no credit, he paid cash!

“And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint . . . “   Romans 5:3-5 (NASB)  

When David and I attended the 6 day advanced lay-speaking class. I was blessed to be voted by all the different classes to give the final sermon at the end of the week. David just found it on a disk I thought was lost. I hope you like it.

P.S. Please leave a comment below.

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I’d like to read from the 116th Psalm, verses 12-14
What shall I render to the Lord for all His benefits toward me?
 I will take up the cup of my salvation and call upon the name of the Lord.
I will pay my vows to the Lord. Now in the presence of all His people.

Let’s pray:
Thank you Father for your Word and for your love. Bless us this morning as we seek wisdom from your word and power from Your Holy Spirit.  In Jesus name, we pray.
Amen

David was right when he said that our experience of the past two weekends was rewarding. Actually, that’s an understatement. The people involved with the Lay Speaker’s program are a group of dedicated, truly spiritual people who put together a wonderful program for us.

When some of you asked me, “How was school”, all I could say was, “Well, I thought it was very interesting… but possibly out of my league.” That too…was a gross understatement. But, nevertheless, I went and put on what I call my “Paper Lion Suit” and pretended at least partial nonchalance. That’s my survival tactic when I’m really scared witless. So…now you can probably better understand why I titled my talk: 

Who Do I Think I Am?
Although I enjoyed the experience of being at Lay Leaders school, after the fact, I really was a somewhat reluctant participant.  If you can picture the old vaudeville image of the truly rotten performer who is yanked off the stage by this huge hook around his neck, that’s a good visualization of how God got me there that morning!

The basic group consisted of a bunch of people and so we were divided up…And, of course, David and I were each put into different classes.

We were first directed to introduce ourselves and tell a little bit about jobs and families, which I guess was okay…you know, somewhat uncomfortable for us introvert types, but a pretty normal request in a new group and all… But then… as an  “ice breaker”, and I almost couldn’t believe this, our teacher told us to give a five to ten minute impromptu presentation about our the two most important people in our lives that had been the most influential to us through our spiritual growth. Nothing like jumping in with both feet!

 In the face of everyone’s testimonies, right off the bat, I was glaringly different from everybody else in my class…. They each had all these lovely recollections of generations of loved family members who had provided them with these wonderfully strong, nurturing backgrounds. We won’t go into my background, but believe me it wasn’t anything like there’s. So, from almost the first hour of class, I felt myself to be somewhat lacking…Somehow less qualified to position myself for leadership than the others because I never had any nurturing type experiences as a point of reference or source of confidence as they had.

            But like the psalm I read to you, I still felt gratitude towards God that I needed to express. When I asked what I could do to show my appreciation to God, I had ended up there in that class, so in some way, I did belong there.

So…Though I might have come from a very different childhood and environment than my classmates, it wasn’t really about that… or even about who was less or more qualified. For me, it was just about loving the Lord for what He has done for me and needing to share Him with others.

I once had an angry, bitter heart. God healed me of that dark outlook on life and that was a tremendous blessing. But that’s another long story and not what I’m here to talk about today. I’ll just say that God’s ability to heal anything …matters. …It matters a lot.

I learned about forgiveness when it was next to impossible to be forgiving. Because, you see, that lesson was for my benefit.  My forgiveness wasn’t really for those who I eventually forgave. That’s the part of it that is so important  –. That God literally changes us from what we were into what He wants us to become and it’s always better.

We are actually transformed by the word of God and the love contained within it…And unless we are willing to proclaim that fact, we are being selfish children.

A lot of what Paul wrote to his friends from his confinement in a Roman jail became quite literally, food for my thought. I’m sure you all know the verses I’m referring too, where Paul more or less says,
            Brothers, as I close this letter, let me say this one thing more: Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right.Think about things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the fine, good things in others.  Think about all you can praise Godforand be glad about.

Those words… those words inspired by the Holy Spirit did literally change my way of thinking. And so dismal, angry thoughts were eventually replaced with happy, life-giving ones. Christian thoughts… delivered from resentment and shame. All I had to do was accept His healing and simply choose to fill my mind with His goodness through the power of His word.

So great…But that has to mean more than just sitting around all day having nice thoughts.  There has to be some effect…some action…that my Christian thinking and living has on the world around me. The beauty that has been disclosed to me is not meant to be held as my own personal secret.



In Matt 5:13-16 Jesus said,
You are the world’s seasoning, to make it tolerable. If you lose your flavor, what will happen to the world? And you yourselves will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless.

You are the world’s light – a city on a hill, glowing in the night for all to see.  Don’t hide your light! Let it shine for all; let your good deeds glow for all to see… so that they will praise your heavenly Father.

I can’t let my uplifting thoughts go unrealized, which they will if I’m not taking some action to share them and give them life. So then I must do something, take some action. 

Serving God with singleness of purpose and putting the concerns of His kingdom first are actions that follow His will and free me from anxiety over any lesser things.

Jesus tells us not to accumulate treasures on earth and not to even worry about our lives at all.  He illustrates His point by comparing what He gives us to God’s provisions for the birds of the air and the lilies of the field. We may not know them word for word, but we all know those verses:
Basically, He tells us not to sweat the small stuff but to use our energies more wisely. To seek God and His ways and everything else will take care of itself.  But, we so often overlook this instruction.

We are progressive people, becoming more and more educated, more and more capable – We acquire more and more prestigious things, all the while puffing our chests out further and further. Either that – or we’re worried sick because we’re not as accomplished as so and so, or we haven’t acquired the new car or overpriced house on the lake.

Whether we are situated on the outside or the inside of that treadmill, the resultant anxiety is the same. Worry has become natural to a lot of us – As natural as eating or sleeping. Why I know a lot of people and I’ll bet you do too, who couldn’t possibly get through a day if they didn’t have something to worry about. It’s almost as if worrying was a part of their nature.

Does this tendency to worry have anything to do with what Jesus means in the seventh chapter of Matthew were He talks about entering heaven through the narrow gate? He says that the highway to hell is broad and its gate is wide enough for all the multitudes who choose its easy way. But the gateway to Life is small, and the road is narrow and only a few ever find it. Do you suppose we will find it by worrying?.

We are literally required as children of God to abandon concern for anything other then our spiritual growth and the commission given to us of telling the world about Him.  God is God. He knows what we need and only He controls tomorrow. So are we going to actually obey God…or just think about our striving to be obedient? That was the decision I had to make – You know, actually “Walk the talk.”

It’s a bit unnerving to consider what Jesus says in Matt 7:21.
Not everyone who says to me Lord ,Lord, shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven.

For most of us, it’s easy to designate things like lying or deliberate cruelty, or murder, as sins…Those are pretty clear-cut and we can simply decide not to commit them. But worrying is also sinful. Jesus says it is. And that’s just not something most of us think of when we think of being sinful.

For example;
All I could do, from the time we were given the assignment to get up in front of everyone and give a ten minute sermonette, until… well, from that Saturday till the following Tuesday afternoon, was to consider all the possible subjects I could speak about and then worry my heart out about my inability to do it.

My thinking went something like this:
How in the world did I get myself into such a predicament?
Whatever possessed me to think myself capable of preaching to anybody else?
I have no credentials or special talents in relation to public speaking – What was I thinking?

Who in the world do I think I am?….And on and on like that till I had a knot the size of a melon gripping my stomach. It wasn’t until I forced myself to stop and look at how worried and fearful I had become that I was able to actually start to work on this assignment.  But before I could do it, I first had to hand it over to God – Truly leave it with Him.

You see, all the worrying in the world wasn’t going to make me the least bit more capable.  Only God’s grace could do that.  Only when I turned the outcome over to Him could I envision myself speaking clearly and comfortably without having a heart attack from the stress.

Again, my answer came from His Word: (Phil4:13)
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

So when the temptation to second guess my situation – to beat myself up with thoughts of inadequacy comes, I have to see that for what it really is.  Its just another way that Satan has of creeping into my thoughts and stealing my confidence and perverting my good intentions until I think myself foolishly presumptuous.

Who do I think I am to stand up and preach the Word of God? Well… I’m predestined to adoption as a child of God, purchased and redeemed by the blood of Jesus and sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise who guarantees my inheritance into heaven.  That’s who I am and there is no room for false pride or insecurity in the power of that!

All I have to do is ask the Father to give me the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him.  Because then the eyes of my understanding are enlightened and I recognize the nature of His calling in me which is far above any puny negative power.

 So I can answer the question of whether I should presume to be here with faith. (Eph 2:8) For by grace I have been saved through faith, and that not of myself, but it is the gift of God. Not of works, lest I should boast. For I am His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that I should walk in them.

So, I put on the armor of God… that I may be able to stand and open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the Gospel. I am not ashamed of the testimony of our Lord. Jesus said that the harvest is plentiful but the laborers few. So, like others of us here, I have heard the Holy Spirit call me and I have chosen to be among the few.

And I believe that we are called with a holy calling, not according to our works but according to His own purpose and grace, which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began. (2 Tim1:9)

I’d like to close with one final Bible quote from Matt 12:31
Therefore I say to you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven men.

When the Holy Spirit calls, we can only obey.
Praise God and may He so richly bless each of you.

By Toni Smothers

Suppose that one day you could be Jesus. Jesus wakes up in your bed, digs through your stuff to pack your bag of books you’ll need for the day at school. You still have the same problems, your room is still a disaster, your schedule is still hectic and nothing else about your life changes. You dress in your clothes and mumble, “I’m not hungry,” to your mom as you leave for school. Or would you stop to appreciate that breakfast and even hug your mom before you go? Jesus’ heart would be yours and he would live your life for one full day. Imagine…

Just for this one day, you live your life with Jesus’ heart instead of your own. His passions would become yours. His love would direct your behavior. What would it be like? Would you look around the school yard just for your friends, dismissing all the regular mob of kids? Or would you find yourself smiling a little like a silly, giddy person, just caught up in the beauty of the day and the wonder of life? Would all the kids seem different? Would each one bring you joy as you casually pass by? How would you perceive the nerdy kids? Do you think you would still make fun of them or be jealous of the popular cover girl club? Any chance you’d feel less stressed, maybe need fewer Tylenol that day? Would you still dread math class? Would you still do what you normally do?

Would you stick to your schedule and still do what you had planned for the day? Take a second to think about a typical day. Would you live it the same way? With Jesus taking over your heart, would anything change?

Guess what? That’s exactly what God’s plan for you is. He wants you to think and act like Christ Jesus. “Your attitude should be the same that Christ Jesus had. Though He was God, he did not demand and cling to his rights as God. He made himself nothing; He took the humble position of a slave and appeared in human form.” (Philippians 2:5-7 NLT)

God’s plan for you is nothing short of a new heart. Radical? You bet it is!

So, will your day include compassion towards that fat girl that everyone, including you, usually makes fun of in gym class? Will you be open to learning with an enthusiastic spirit and get all you can from the days work? You see, just because God loves you just the way you are, He won’t ever leave you this way. He wants so much more for you. There isn’t anything you can do to make God love you more or less, but there is so much He can do to help you love yourself and others better. With your heart filled with Jesus you can not act the same way as usual.

Try it out. Get up a little earlier tomorrow. Kneel at your bedside and speak to God. Ask Him to make your heart new. Ask for a heart like Jesus and ask for Him to stay with you all day long. Every time you even think of doing or saying something tacky, a silent tug at your heart will ask you to reevaluate. You don’t have to, of course, because He allows you your free will at all times, but you could choose to listen. You could choose to dump any ugliness for the joy of the Lord.

So what if someone snubs you and acts stupid. Forgive them and keep your joy. If your test score comes back lower than you’d hoped, determine to study more and ask God to help you in that area too. When you get PMS and want to just curl up in a little pity party, think of Christ hanging on the cross. Be nicer to everyone. By comparison, you might find a different perspective on those mood swings. Let every word in the Bible guide you until the words are written in your heart and you know that Jesus lives in you forever.

Christ was scorned by many yet He was ready to forgive everyone before they even asked for His mercy. Can you forgive those who have hurt you and move on? It’s so liberating to begrudge no one and choose love instead. Choose to lay aside what you think you’re entitled to. Rise to a higher standard of living.

Often people excuse selfishness, pride, or evil by claiming their rights. They think, “I can cheat on this test; after all, I deserve to pass this class,” or “I can spend all this money on myself – I worked hard for it,” or “I can get an abortion, I have a right to control my own body.” But as believers, we should have a different attitude, one that enables us to lay aside our rights in order to serve others.

Remember, you can choose your attitude. You can approach life expecting to be served, or you can look for opportunities to serve others, just as Jesus did. Just keep on asking and He’ll help you make the right choices.

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Toni Smothers is a child of God, wife, mom, grandmother, writer and lay-speaker. She has had serious exposure to the rougher side of life and from that experience has been left with a heart full of love for others who struggle with learning about our beautiful Savior. Through her writing, Toni delights in helping young people especially, who are seeking to find a true, intimate relationship with their Heavenly Father.

            During the 1950’s, in the five Burroughs of New York, a considerable segment of the adult population spoke in a kind of automatic curse word mode, which was the norm. This casual spewing of vulgarities was automatic, sort of like breathing or blinking. There was no hesitation or particular forethought. It was a behavior that was often prefaced with the expression, “pardon my French,” which I never understood, but was meant to make the dirty remarks in the rest of the statement, somehow acceptable.  The vulgarities were sub-culture slang, just common communication, having no deliberate malice, but distinguishing this particular group of people from any others. Within this sub-culture, they referred to themselves rather specifically as, ‘the majority’, and more broadly known as ‘Yankee’.

The funny thing about this whole language thing was that though considered benign for adults, if I, or any other child, inadvertently mimicked it, suddenly the words became offensive and insolent and automatically provoked an extremely violent reaction from the shocked adults.

This is my first example of the consistent double standard we learned to live with as children in New York during the 1950’s. If you ask any ‘baby-boomer’, at least those from New York, to reminisce, they will undoubtedly testify to this unspoken truth – It was always, “do as I say, not as I do.”

 To give you a more intimate understanding of these New Yorkers who claimed to be representative of an entire culture (Yankee), you have to understand a few of the basics about the people and the times. They were proud people. The men took “no crap off anyone” and, right or wrong, the women always supported her man. There often was bitter fighting behind closed doors, but families always put up a united front and stuck together in public. At least that was true for our family and the families of those people that we knew.

I can remember numerous occasions where this particular ethic was taken to ridiculous extremes because no matter what the circumstances were, “hush, don’t tell,” was our family’s motto.  There were various times when my mother overdosed on sleeping pills. In truth, those instances were deliberate attempts to end her life.  We all knew it. Our stepfather, however, always told us it was accidental. We were to believe that she really couldn’t tell the difference between a dose and a bottle of pills. We were children, not idiots. But, whether we actually believed him was irrelevant. As long as we acted like that’s what we believed, that was good enough.

We were instructed to keep our mouths shut and that was pretty much the end of that discussion. There was absolutely no room for debate here. So, not only did we have to deal with the fact that our mom really wanted to leave us, we had to pretend it never happened. “Don’t tell,” and, “You are not to speak of this again,” were very big in our family.

The hospitals and doctors were different then too because they took you at your word. They didn’t automatically hold an overdose victim for further psychological testing. They pumped the stomach and washed their hands – Literally! So, my mom never really did get any counseling or help for her depression. It just wasn’t acceptable to feel that way. Depression was a big no-no. Only weak, lazy, bad people gave in to that kind of stuff – It was not a legitimate illness. A person suffering with depression was supposed to “shake it off” and “pull themselves up by their bootstraps”.  People really did say these clichés! (Our step-father, in particular)

Remember the three ‘speak-see-hear-no-evil’ monkeys? Well, my siblings and I were like those monkeys. It was just the three of us. My older brother, sister and me, each survived our childhood in our own way. One thing we didn’t do, though, was talk about it – We may have been very confused kids, but not one of us was dumb.

My brother, sister and I never had outside interactions. The support of a church family or youth group or school team was not available to us. We were not permitted to join any school or church activities. My mother took us to church on Easter and Christmas. They told us that we were Protestants and weekly church attendance was not mandatory to believe in God or for a good person to go to heaven. There was one prayer offered just prior to thanksgiving dinner and that was it for our family’s religious life.

Also, they never joined things like P.T.A. because it just wasn’t practical for busy people who had better things to do with their time than to get involved in school groups of bickering parents and incompetent teachers, so there was no attending those kind of meetings – “Let the teachers take care of their own problems. That’s what they’re paid for.” We, as children in attendance of a particular class, had to attend the mandatory evening school nights with all our papers laid out on our desks to supposedly show our parents who never showed up on those visiting nights. That was always embarrassing to me. My sister said she didn’t care and my brother just never showed up either, which was against school rules. Tommy did get real familiar with the other side of rules, as he grew up very disrespectful of authority.

 As for an occasional visit from the Reverend of the church we attended twice a year, my mother was always too busy to converse, but cordial enough as she showed him to the door. The evangelicals that came to our home intermittently, well, they were not treated very politely.  My folks just had no use for practicing their professed Christianity and even less patience for being reminded of that fact.

We were taught to be strong and to stand alone, almost as if having to do that as a kid was normal and just a part of their good parenting that would eventually make us courageous and independent people – But it only served to make us withdrawn and screwed-up.  My brother acted out his frustration in the form of criminal behavior and my sister and I got out of that crazy house just as soon as we could. One way or another, we shook the muck off our shoes when we left and then went out into the world totally unprepared to respond to it.

It’s Great to Wait

By, Toni Smothers

Did you know that there are sixth grade, 12 year old children, who are sexually active? And, an astounding sixty percent of teens have had sex, twenty-five percent have contracted a sexually transmitted disease (STD), and twenty percent of the girls have become pregnant by age eighteen. Why?

Puberty starts a lot earlier than it did years ago. Currently, hormones begin raging at 10 to 11 years of age. Primetime media has significant underlying sexual content as the norm. Sex saturates the music industry. Peers exhort a very strong influence. Teens think that digital and oral sex are not real sex and so they can’t get a STD doing it. Then there’s alcohol and drugs at parties, which ends up in non-characteristic choices, as well as in date rape. Alcohol and drugs give guys more courage and makes girls more willing or so doped up that they don’t even know what’s going on.

The cliché is often, “If you love me, you’ll have sex with me.” Ah, but where’s the respect? Love is long and deep and wide and it can’t be copied on a one night ride or a short lived relationship – That only leads to guilt and broken hearts. Respecting your partner, committing your life long goals and dreams to them is the way true love grows into maturity. And sex has no place outside of marriage.

So in this kind of environment, how do teens keep their faith and lives uncontaminated?

It’s not like you can go hide under a rock until you become the right age for marriage. Every day, some outside influence is trying to make you think that having babies and STDs is run of the mill. Also, most teens think, “It couldn’t happen to me.” But, believe me, there are no such exemptions. We reap what we sow.

Listen to what part of the 119^th Psalm says: “Happy are people of integrity, who follow the law of the Lord. Happy are those who obey his decrees and search for him with all their hearts. They do not compromise with evil, and they walk only in His paths.” (v. 1-3 NIV)

Easier said then done, right? But, God wants only the best for you and He wants you to remain pure. Remember, God’s Word, the Bible, is the only sure guide for living a pure life. The 9^th verse of Psalm 119 both asks and answers a relevant question. “How can a young person stay pure? By obeying your word and following its rules.” … Is it easy? No way – Is it right? Absolutely!

We are drowning in a sea of impurity. Everywhere we look, we find temptation to lead impure lives. What does a young person do? We cannot do this on our own but must have counsel and strength more dynamic than the tempting influences around us. Where can we find that strength and wisdom? By reading God’s Word and doing what it says

Corporate Massage Therapy  by Toni Smothers
 
Massage therapy at the workplace is catching on across the country. There are varied ways to incorporate this workforce and management bonus. Employers who want to go the extra mile for their workers find massage at work to benefit all levels of employees. Your company can schedule certified massage therapists to perform worksite massage for weekly, bi-weekly or monthly appointments.
 
Some companies split office massage therapy fees with their employees; others cover the cost as a performance incentive. Another option available is to simply allow a twenty minute break time for your employees, so that they can take advantage of a self-paid chair massage session during the work day. Fees for a massage therapist run an average of $1.00 per minute for chair massage. The massage therapist will likely expect a tip, if services rendered were performed to the recipient’s satisfaction, unless an up-front gratuity has been previously agreed upon.
 
 
Hectic schedules, customer demands, as well as personal stress factors, can all adversely influence a person’s work day. Maladies of all kinds have been attributed to stress. Spending much time in a chair hunched over a computer can tighten muscles in the shoulders and cause discomfort. Headache often accompanies tight muscles in the neck. Working out these stiff neck and shoulder muscles can refresh creativity and attentiveness. Massage therapy relieves tension and stress levels, while heightening employee morale and affording an overall feeling of employment satisfaction.
 
Massage therapy invites relaxation and renewal, as well as relief from pain. While heart rate and breathing slow, blood pressure is lowered and the production of stress hormones decreases. Additionally, serotonin, a chemical that has a positive affect on emotions, is increased. Once relaxation is achieved, fatigue, anxiety and even digestive disorders are alleviated. The physical manipulation of muscles increases blood circulation, which works along side the relaxation response to culminate in enhanced distribution of oxygen and nutrients to the muscles. When muscle tissue relaxes, painful soreness and spasms cease.
 
Sometimes, nerves can be compressed when the muscles surrounding them contract. While nerves are supposed to transmit massages back and forth from the brain to the body, tightened muscles can impede the function of the nerves. When muscles are made to relax through massage, the nerves are able to perform optimally. Neurological pain signals to muscles, bones and nerves can be lessened, or even eliminated. Massage can benefit deeper tissues by releasing tension in superficial layers of muscles as the whole body comes back into balance.
 
Suburban Chicago law firm, Kovitz, Shifrin, and Nesbit and the Colorado Health Institute, in Denver, are just two vastly different type companies that offer their employees massage therapy for very similar reasons: Increased productivity and job satisfaction. Just take Google, for example: they even have a “Google Massage Program Manager.” Corporate massage is taken very seriously by the people at Google. Their employees can’t rave enough about how much they appreciate a little time off from a grueling day for an invigorating massage. (You can view a YouTube video, accessible from Google’s site, praising the benefits of massage therapy.)
 
Absenteeism is very costly to any business. Colds, viruses, tension headaches, sciatica, all kinds of disease and malfunction of the body, can be attributed to stress. Massage therapy may be helpful for many of the common causes that keep workers home when they are needed at their job on a regular work day. With decreases in pain and increased functioning of the employee’s health, fewer sick days can be achieved through the regular use of massage therapy. Enhancement of the immune system and recovery from illness would go a long way toward justifying the implementation of chair massage therapy at the workplace.
 
It is not really clear how much relief can be expected with the occasional use of chair massage. But, there will be definite rewards that will be visible: the indulgence will offer your employee something new and unusual to break up the day and it is almost certain that you will earn the gratitude of your employee.
 
Employees who demonstrate maximum reliability, productivity and loyalty are those who appreciate the fact that the company they work for has employee well-being as a strong priority. Adding corporate massage therapy to your employee benefits package might just be to your company’s benefit.

 

Once a person trusts Christ as their Savior can they lose this relationship? Is the salvation that Jesus offers conditional? If it is unconditional, then there is nothing we can do to lose it. If it is conditional, then there is something or some things that we can do to lose it. The real question for Christians is – What Does the Bible Say? As the Scripture is carefully studied, we find that a true believer in Jesus is safe and secure eternally. The following relevant passages make this issue pretty clear.

1. Never Perish

Jesus said those who believe in Him will never perish.

“My sheep hear My voice, and I know them and they follow Me. And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand.” (John 10:27,28)

These verses could not be stronger. Those who trust Jesus will never perish. Jesus said nobody will take believers out of His hand. This is because believers are securely held in the arms of God the Father.

2. Eternal Life

The Bible promises eternal life to all who believe in Christ. The often quoted verse in the Bible says: “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life”. (John 3:16)

The promise of eternal life is not true if it can be lost. There is, however, only one condition stated in this promise: if a person believes in Jesus, they shall have everlasting life. Everlasting means forever.

3. Possession of the Believer

Those who believe in Jesus already possess eternal life.

“I tell you the truth; whoever hears my word and believes Him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life”. (John 5:24)

Salvation, therefore, is not something that is far off in the future—it is a present possession of the believer. Salvation is not looked upon as a day-to-day thing. We do not keep ourselves saved day after day. Scripture treats our salvation as something that is secure forever.

4. Eternal Life Defined

So, eternal life has already begun for the believer. The Bible defines eternal life as knowing Christ.

“Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.” (John 17:3)

4. Nothing Shall Separate

The Bible says nothing shall separate us from Christ.

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril or sword . . . For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:35, 38,39)

This passage makes it clear that nothing will be able to separate Christ from those who have trusted Him. Nothing! This includes the believer separating themselves from Christ. If you turn your back on Christ, He always awaits your return. Isn’t that incredible? 

5. Christ Remains Faithful

“That is why I am suffering. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day.” (2 Timothy 1:12)

The Apostle Paul stresses the fact that once you have committed yourself to Christ, He is able to keep that which we have committed.

6. He Keeps Us from Falling

“To Him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before His glorious presence without fault and with great joy”… (Jude 24)

The idea here is that He is the one who keeps us from falling, we are not keeping ourselves. We have no power.

7. Kept By God’s Power

The Bible says that we are kept by God’s power, not our own.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade — kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.” (1 Peter 1:3-5)

8.We Have Been Glorified

The Bible already speaks of us as being glorified:

“And those He predestined, He also called; those He called, He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified.” (Romans 8:30)



9. It Is A Gift

Salvation is a gift. A gift is often confused with something earned. No one can earn their salvation; it is God’s gift to us.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8,9)

Salvation has been given to us by Christ. The fact that we had nothing to do with earning it can not be stressed too much!

10. We Are Joined To Christ

Once a person has been born again by the word and the Spirit of God, he receives new life in Christ. God puts Christ’s righteousness in the place of the sinner’s account, which totally cleanses him before God.

“For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” (2 Corinthians 5:21)

“But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God—and righteousness and sanctification and redemption.” (1 Corinthians 1:30)

11. Christ’s Sacrifice Is Adequate

The sacrifice of Jesus Christ was more than adequate for our salvation.

“For by one offering He has perfected forever those who are being sanctified.” (Hebrews 10:14)

There is nothing that can be added or taken away from His sacrifice.

12. He Will Complete What He Started

The Bible says it is God’s power that saves us:

“Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6)

He started the salvation process, He will finish it.

13 .Kept By God’s Power

Furthermore, that which keeps us saved is God’s power, not our own.

“…who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.” (1 Peter 1:5)

We did not save ourselves; we do not keep ourselves saved.

14. We Are A New Creation

We are identified with Christ as a new creation, clean and equipped for service. We can then begin to live out God’s plan for our lives.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, they are a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

“And raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus.” (Ephesians 2:6)

15. Christ Paid The Penalty Once

Jesus Christ has paid the penalty once and for all for sins. God will not demand payment for a second time. The Bible says: Since Christ has died for our sins we will never have to die for them!

Questions To Be Answered –

If someone believes salvation can be lost, then there are a number of questions that must be asked. What sin or sins would cause you to lose it? How do you know when you’ve lost it? If you lose it, can you get it back? Do you have to get baptized again? What does the Bible mean when it promises eternal life for those who believe? How long is eternal life? Finally, if a person can lose their salvation, then how can you explain what John wrote:

“I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.” (1 John 5:13)


If a person could lose their salvation then no one could know, from moment to moment, whether they are saved or not. Yet the Bible says that we can know. This is because once a person truly trusts Christ as Savior, they cannot lose that salvation.

Summary:

Once a person trusts Christ as Savior they become His child forever. Because He saves and keeps us, nothing shall separate us from His presence.

I do agree that John 10:27-28 says it all. We are forever His, friends. Happily for us, His precious love is totally unconditional. I deliberately found so many verses to quote on this subject so that you can hereafter know that you’re saved by the love and grace of our Lord Jesus. This is not merely my opinion. This is what Jesus promised us. Controversial or misguided thinking will always exist. That’s okay, it will keep you from taking the things you believe for granted. But remember, whenever you have a question, go to the Word for your answer. You will find what you need to know in the Bible.

We worship a risen, living Savior who has promised to give immortality to all who believe in His name. No longer do we need to stumble in the fog and darkness of hopelessness. He is risen – A light shines brighter than the noonday sun, offering hope to everyone who has been born again. Jesus promised, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die.” (John 11:25–26)

    Happy Easter everyone!

By Toni Smothers http://www.writingforthemaster.com TASmothers@gmail.com

Toni Smothers                                                                         Approx. 2,460 words

Ormond Beach Fl

Understanding the Battering Syndrome

            “Stop! Please, no more,” she pleads, as she crawls away from him.  Blood drips from her nostrils; a sickening reminder of his fist.

Her only thought is escape.  She rolls under the table for protection.  The table is lifted and smashed against the wall.  His drunken, irrational anger lashes out.  He kicks her hard – again and again, tearing into her ribs.  She moans, partly from the immediate pain, but mostly from the shame his brutality evokes in her.  Eventually she crumbles and is finally immune to the blows that follow.

Beaten and defeated – She wishes she were dead.

* * *

The liberation of women has been a slow struggle and its influence on society is still relatively weak, with many merely giving lip service to it.  The process of change is never rapid.  We are a society in reluctant transition; mixed messages and archaic belief systems abound, leaving many in a confused sort of limbo.  Is it any wonder that spousal abuse, behind closed doors, remains an adhesive custom of right?

Understanding the victimization of the battered woman is essential to change. The batterer physically and psychologically abuses her and then society further contributes to her shame by condemning her for not ending her abuse.  The battered woman is deeply affected by this attitude of blame, which serves to compound her feelings of helplessness and self-loathing; emotions that contribute to her inaction.

The notion that the battered woman provokes her batterer beyond his tolerance is ingrained in her thinking as well.  This self-accusation fuels the problem by robbing the man of responsibility for his actions.  This myth has become internalized, nevertheless, and she assumes the guilt for her batterer’s behavior.

It is still commonly assumed that batterers and their victims are mostly undereducated, frustrated people living under deprived conditions.  Contrary findings were reported in Professor Lenore Walker’s book entitled, The Battered Woman, where she states that physicians, service professionals and police all had a very high incidence of wife beating.  As a group, batterers are indistinguishable from any other group of men in terms of capability, income or education – As are the battered women.

Studies on violence report that a physical assault occurs in close to one of every three marriages.  A statistic like that certainly confirms a grossly underestimated problem.  Real attitude adjustments and major investigation into tangible solutions seems urgent.

Laws and programs have been developed to enable the victim of abuse to escape her situation.  Since options are now available, we naturally expect that the battered woman will automatically embrace these relatively unproven supports. We unwittingly discount her terror by expecting her to risk everything because society has finally taken some interest in her welfare.   But we forget that the battered woman’s ability to trust has already been shattered.  The man she chose to love, her own physical inferiority and quite likely her family history, all contribute to a weakened ability to trust effective intervention by strangers.  Especially when those strangers expect her to accept their “quick fix” or be judged a fool for the paralysis she experiences while continuing in her abusive relationship. Such assumptions are disrespectful and demeaning.  When we minimize her dilemma by claiming it to be a simple matter of free choice, we do not comprehend the battering syndrome.

The battering of women goes back to Biblical times.  Wife beating was accepted as a husband’s right by the English and American courts even into the early nineteenth century.  These attitudes seem to have tenacious roots.  Gender stereotyping refuses to be banished entirely.  Society’s underlying message that a woman belongs to a man destroys a woman’s self-esteem.  Believing herself to be powerless against her man and her situation, she is immobilized.

Additionally, some batterers threaten harm to the woman’s family or friends.  She holds no doubt that her batterer’s retaliation could include severe danger to her loved ones.

The women interviewed in Professor Walker’s study described their batterers and themselves as having dual personalities.  They deceive friends and associates into believing that they live normal lives, while their actions within the home are out of control.  Besides the physical brutality, the battered woman must endure possessiveness, jealousy and intrusiveness.  Generally, she must account for all her time and despite his constant surveillance, the batterer is still suspicious of any relationship his wife has with other people.

The question remains, “How do women tolerate this lifestyle”?  In Del Martin’s book entitled, Battered Wives, her findings concurred with most other current research: The battered woman remains in her abusive relationship due to the inter-relatedness of complex psychological and sociological factors.

If we can get her to risk taking a chance on a safe shelter, the duration of her stay and the financial support available is too limited.  Long-term assistance is not as yet available.  Fear of inadequacy and financial dependency will not be defeated without viable, extended alternatives.  It seems obviously unreasonable to assume that the battered woman could change her failure expectancy without considerable counseling. Then we have the marriage counselors who still tend to encourage keeping the family together at any cost.  And, incredibly, the batterer and the battered woman fear that they can not survive by themselves.  All these factors perpetuate a continuance of their peculiar relationship and the only comfort to be found for them is in its familiarity.

Professor Walker refers to these kinds of feelings as “learned helplessness”. This theory is explained in three parts: Thinking about what will happen, expectations about what will happen and behavior toward what actually does happen. The problem lies in expectations and reactions; she sees them as totally independent of each other.  This is where the motivational disturbance begins.  The question is not whether the woman has control over the outcome. She believes that she does not have control, so she gives up any attempt to change the situation, believing it to be hopeless.  Walker uses the example of the patient who loses the “will to live” and dies when he could have lived.

There are very specific stages of the battering relationship: First the tension builds, then the batterer explodes, and after he has vented his frustrations, there is a calm period; until the cycle repeats itself.  The battered woman is adept at keeping the first phase of the cycle at a fairly constant level, avoiding the actual battering incident for a time.  As she tiptoes over eggshells, the tension inevitably accelerates until even her submissive behavior can no longer maintain the equilibrium. Once the tension becomes unbearable, the acute battering incident will occur once again.

When the actual attack is over, the woman feels shock and denial.  She finds ways of rationalizing away her batterer’s hostile intent.  She minimizes her injuries, convincing herself that they could have been much worse.  She hesitates to seek help immediately following the beating unless she is severely injured.  By not telling anyone about her beating, she can pretend that it wasn’t really too bad. Besides, the battered woman knows that officers dislike playing mediator in domestic dispute calls.  Many police respond with reluctance and often fail to take appropriate action against the batterer.  This hesitant attitude only promotes the abuse cycle, subtly affirming to the assailant that his actions are not viewed as legally serious.

In Kansas City, a study on police effectiveness found that over 80% of all women murdered by their spouse had called police one to five times prior to being killed!  Is it so difficult to understand why a woman might believe that no one, including the police, could protect her from her man’s fury?

Once the actual battering incident is over, the batterer’s loving and contrite behavior begins, which only serves to sabotage the woman’s emotions even further. Fearing that he has gone too far, the batterer becomes apologetic and he tries to make it up to her by acting charming and repentant.  He begs her to forgive him, swearing that he will never do it again.  Somehow, he manages to convince her that this time he positively means it.  For example, if alcohol is a problem, he will swear off drinking to demonstrate his sincerity.

The batterer works on her guilt by telling her that he really does love her and that she must save their marriage by forgiving him. In addition, the battered woman wants to believe that she will never have to take another beating. Her batterer’s newfound reasonableness helps her to believe that he will change his ways and that the loving, contrite behavior will become permanent.

It is at this point that the outside sources of help are trying to persuade her to leave the relationship.  But this is precisely the time when her relationship with her batterer is at its very best.  She believes that he needs her and will usually drop charges or back down on separation.  As Walker so perfectly put it, “she becomes an accomplice to her own battering”.

Inevitably, the calm romantic behavior is replaced with building tension and a new cycle of battering behavior begins.  Her self-image is further damaged as she faces the awareness that she has traded her will being for a brief period of contrite affection from her batterer.  Once again, she sees herself as a failure and her feelings of helplessness are reinforced.

The final atrocity is the fact that this syndrome is passed down from generation to generation.  The children who are forced to watch their mothers being beaten suffer great psychological scars.  Additional relationships are later created where violence against other family members is the norm. Children who are taught that it is reasonable to love and hurt someone at the same time carry these values into their adult lives.  Unfortunately, this violent lifestyle is continued rather predictably.

 It’s obvious that the battered woman suffers from far more than beatings. Our accusations and blame are inappropriate.  We have to search for effective measures of assistance to ensure the destruction of a tragically, heretofore, unending cycle. The injustice of continued wife abuse must be terminated.

Shelters offer the battered woman a supportive environment free from abuse.  The time a woman and her children are permitted to remain in their sanctuary should be lengthened to more realistically deal with the woman’s fear of the unknown and readjustment to a new, independent lifestyle.  Hopefully, as we progress in our understanding of the battering syndrome, the council found within these shelters will become even more patient and effective.

Rainbow Retreat, in Phoenix, Arizona, was the first shelter to open its doors to abused women and their children in 1973.  Since that time, many communities and virtually all major cities have followed with shelters and hot lines to assist these women.  Shelters assure the rights of women to be physically protected by the society in which they live.  Though shelters do not solve the problem of battering, they have become a constant reminder to the public of the need for change in attitude toward the victims of wife beating.

More specialized training of our police is essential in handling domestic violence and the needs of the battered woman.  They must take the same legal action they would if the assailants and victims were not man and wife.  If no arrest is made, officers should provide victims with information about available shelters and arrange transportation to protect the woman and her children.  Since domestic assaults are more likely than other assaults to recur, these incidents should be recorded and kept readily available as a reference to alert officers to an abuser’s history of violent behavior.  Police can no longer substitute mediation for law enforcement, even if that means arresting the batterer without the frightened victim’s initiation or consent.

Abuse victims should be treated no differently than victims of other crimes.  Responsibility for criminal acts belongs to those who commit them.  The prosecutors must begin to give battered women the same protection and high priority given other victims of violent crime, basing their decisions only on the merits of the cases.  Again, more thorough training about the causes and criminal nature of spouse abuse and about steps to be taken for enforcing statutes that prohibit such conduct is needed, along with intensive counseling for the batterer once he is incarcerated.  Prosecutors should not dismiss legitimate cases for any reason.

As an educational priority, all law enforcement personnel must have a perfectly clear understanding of the appropriate sanctions for violating civil protection orders and criminal laws pertaining to spouse abuse.  Protective orders need to be obtained more expediently.  Judges must decide between civil and criminal remedies on an individual case basis in accordance with the seriousness of the offense.  Our states can pass precise legislation providing protective orders for abuse victims with effective means for enforcement.  These measures will make it vividly clear to abusers that the courts and society in general will no longer tolerate the unquestionable crime of domestic violence in this country.

When consequences are strictly implemented by law enforcement, restraint is more likely to develop in the batterer.  Respect for the abused woman’s fear and understanding what a giant leap of faith it will take for her to actively change her situation, may eventually bolster her confidence.  We must enable the abused women to begin to trust again.  If judgmental condemnation can be abolished and exchanged with insightful compassion, we will finally approach the sorely overdue elimination of this archaic and barbaric syndrome.

ABUSE IS NO LAUGHING MATTER

Completely Broken

By, Toni Smothers

“Stop! Please, no more,” she pleads, as she crawls away from him.

Blood drips from her nostrils with its sickening taste – The ultimate reminder of his fist.

No dignity remains; her only thought . . . e s c a p e !

She scrambles under the table for protection.

 The table is lifted and smashed against the wall.

 His drunken, irrational anger lashes out  – He kicks her hard – again and again.

 Tearing without mercy into her fragile ribs.

 She moans, partly from the immediate pain, but mostly from the loathsome shame.

 His brutality evokes that which she detests the most within herself. 

Her crumbling, pathetic spirit – Spineless traitor!

As yet again she dissolves, finally immune to the blows that follow.

Beaten and defeated  . . .  Her only wish . . .  That she were dead.

Now I sit me down in school        There will be no prayer here.

Where praying is against the rule  We pray…….

> >> For this great nation under God

> >> Finds mention of Him very odd.

> >> If Scripture now the class recites,

> >> It violates the Bill of Rights.

> >> And anytime my head I bow

> >> Becomes a Federal matter now.

> >>

> >> Our hair can be purple, orange or green,

> >> That’s no offense; it’s a freedom scene.

> >> The law is specific, the law is precise.

> >> Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

> >>

> >> For praying in a public hall

> >> Might offend someone with no faith at all.

> >> In silence alone we must meditate,

> >> God’s name is prohibited by the state.

> >>

> >> We’re allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,

> >> And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.

> >> They’ve outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.

> >> To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

> >>

> >> We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,

> >> And the ‘unwed daddy,’ our Senior King.

> >> It’s “inappropriate” to teach right from wrong,

> >> We’re taught that such “judgments” do not belong.

> >>

> >> We can get our condoms and birth controls,

> >> Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.

> >> But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,

> >> No word of God must reach this crowd.

> >>

> >> It’s scary here I must confess,

> >> When chaos reigns the school’s a mess.

> >> So, Lord, this silent plea I make:

> >> Should I be shot; My soul please take!

> >>

> >> Amen

> >>

> >> If you aren’t ashamed to do this, please pass this

> >> on. Jesus said, “If you are ashamed of me,” I will be

>ashamed of  you before my Father